Kissing Guidelines

“I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up.” –Barbara Bush (http://www.quotegarden.com/kisses.html)

There are plenty of ideas about kissing. When you should. When you shouldn’t. What’s appropriate. And what’s not. Most would agree that kissing is an enjoyable experience. But we also need to be careful in our dating interactions. As members of the church we have a higher standard and we need to be conscious of this in our dating, even here in Rexburg, Idaho. As the world’s standards continue to decline we need to not just keep our standards a step above the world’s standards. This would only mean that we would arrive in hell a little later then the world. We should have fun but we need to keep our thoughts and actions elevated while enjoying our dating experiences.

1. Show Respect.

When you hear the word kiss there are probably a lot of different words that come to mind. Kissing should be a sign of affection, admiration, love. The well-known LDS speaker John Bytheway described it this way. “There’s an old nursery rhyme that begins, “Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry.” When you’ve heard that little poem, you may have wondered, “What made the girls cry?”… Perhaps it all depends on whether or not Georgie Porgie was an honest person or just a selfish young man who didn’t think about the consequences of his actions.” (John Bytheway. What do kisses mean? New Era. Oct 2004. lds.org) I think far too many of us have heard of kisses that meant nothing but fun. Or that were spurred by selfish reasons. Be respectful to those you date. Be honest with yourself and your motives.

2. Just say NO to a “NCMO" (Non-committal Makeout)”

President Spencer W. Kimball stated, “Kissing has … degenerated to develop and express lust instead of affection, honor, and admiration. To kiss in casual dating is asking for trouble. What do kisses mean when handed out like pretzels and robbed of sacredness?” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 281). Today is seems all too easy to get caught up in the temporary or momentary pleasures instead of waiting for the things that matter. To think about kissing as “fun” and in a recreational manner degrades yourself and those who participate with you. When we show affection without commitment we are being dishonest. Be wise.

3. Keep it Appropriate.

We all know that we have been counseled not to participate in passionate kissing but I think far too few of us take strict heed to this warning. “Many things around you encourage you to give affection, such as your physical maturity, movies, advertising, music, stories, articles, and conversation. Granted this is the trend of the day. But there are good reasons why you should be discriminating and self-controlled in your giving of affection. As you are aware, kissing is more stimulating than satisfying; consequently, it invites more and more. Once a couple begins to share affection in a physical way, this activity tends to become the focus of interest. Often such a couple ceases to explore the other significant dimensions of personality: mind, character, maturity, religious faith, moral values, and goals.” (Bruce Monson. Speaking of Kissing. New Era June 2001. lds.org) I think we’ve all heard far too many stories about physical relationships that have gone too far and the dangers that are there. Be careful and follow the Spirit.